There are valid and well-known reasons why women like to stay on top of their menstrual cycles. For one thing, they need to be like a Boy Scout (i.e., prepared with necessary implements, badges, sticks, what have you). They need to know when to get worried and take a pregnancy test. They need to know when to schedule dates, and which underwear to wear on said dates. Today I discovered a new reason: if you forget and spend the night before it starts doing shots of whiskey, you might very well end up horribly in pain the next day, throwing giant buckets of tears around your office hallway while your boss hugs you and runs away after you tell him you have "lady problems." That's right, I called it lady problems. What? Ladies can be alcoholics, too.
Look at me, being Debbie Downer. Nobody ever promotes the reasons how it might enhance your life to have no way of keeping it straight. So, Point, meet Counterpoint. I have four days of sunshine to get over my embarrassment, I got to leave work early, I had a heating pad secretly keeping my crotch warm as I traveled home in the rain, my boss paid for a cab, and sometimes it's necessary and humbling to revisit the experience of waking up semi-nude on your bathroom mat.
I Am Still Alive. Basically.
3 days ago