Well then.

I touched a German diplomat's penis. Not voluntarily, and through his pants, but it's still a good ice-breaker, don't you think? Anyways, I'm pretty exhausted right now from all the drinking, dancing, non-sleeping, smoking, dog-petting, TV-watching, and food-ordering I did this weekend, so I'm gonna go to sleep and leave you with this slice of Saturday night, because I already typed it out and it'll make this seem like less of a blow-off post, which it TOTALLY ISN'T because I would never do that:

Dropout: You know I'm not going to your apartment, right?
Diplo, smiling dirtily: I know. You don't have to.
Dropout, noting the dirty smile: I'm also not gonna fuck you on the bar.
Diplo, straddling my leg and licking my ear: Why not? It would be a new experience.